Wednesday, June 30, 2004

was very inspired by an article posted on the CAS forums. if you're interested to read it in full follow the link here.

Too many of us in society are passive participants in this event called life. We go to work and we make enough money to take care of ourselves, and our families, and sometimes we might even fill out a check for the local homeless shelter, or put a dollar in a bucket at the grocery store. But how many of us actually get involved in a cause? How many of us use what we like to do to make a difference in the lives of someone else? Who has used their joy of painting to facilitate an art project at a retirement facility? Who likes to fly kites and has decided to show a child from Big Brothers/Big Sisters how it’s done? How many of us find our passion and actually do something with it?

This is the lesson that Mattie and Clay teach us. Find what’s important to you, and do it! Discover your voice and use it. You WILL make a difference, in the lives of others, and in your life as well. And don’t put it off, because you never know how long you have on this earth. Make your mark while you can. Mattie did that.

Clay and Mattie are visionaries. They teach and show love, self-acceptance, and the importance of inclusion of all people in society – all races, all religions, and all abilities. In many ways, Mattie is the embodiment of the principles that Clay espouses, that a person with a disability can be an active participant in the population, if given the opportunity. As Clay quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King, “Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve.”

before this, i was also a passive participant in life. (i'm sure many of us are..especially jaded by singapore's system) and it doesn't matter through what way you discover it. (yes laugh all you want but i discovered it partly due to Clay.) i read somewhere there's this couple who didn't want to have their own children but adopted instead. as they were quoted saying there're already so many homeless, malnutritioned, ignored, abandoned children around us...why not let them be our child? something like that. it's worth a thought...

This girl posted at 3:16 PM

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

on sunday had a nice time catching up with old friends...my gang of buddies from St. Hilda's who stuck with me thru' happy, sad, good, bad, ugly and who love me despite all my flaws and bad taste in stuff (at that time!!). there's still the bubbly joyce..who i can still count on for a long chat and ice-cream sharing at swensen's....spunky grace who's sporting a really short haircut...and battling her JCTs...good luck my girl! there's the ever cool noelle...who's hosting a great bash at her house this sat..complete with mahjong, absolute vanilla and plenty of food and dvds. there's of course scared-of-the-sun shermaine...the birthday girl and the reason for this meeting...looking good with almost flawless white skin...can go shoot commercial for l'oreal...there's the guys...jonathan, weiqiang, jiewei..the army talk...nonstop....haha~

today went for my medical exam/checkup at NTU medical centre first..then went for lunch with dad and din tai fung at paragorn (like crystal jade...really good food!!)..then went to raffles hospital for the MOE one...which was more elaborate. well..at NTU my doctor...Dr. Victor something...can't remember his surname...but he spent 15 mins with me! talking...haha~ we just started talking after a few seconds...he could tell i took trip science and i applied for medicine...(oh yeah..he has a really beautiful mac ibook!!) then he challenged me to issues that the life sciences community is grappling with...so i took up the embryo debate.

when does life begin? at conception (meaning when the sperm fuses with the ovum aka egg cell) or at implantation (abit complicated to explain...but that's where the embryo cells are anchored in the mum's uterus and growth starts) or when the embryo feels pain? in singapore...our government has decided life starts at 14 days after conception...

so imagine when u were -9 months old...a ball of cells...i could take you and do all kinds of experiments on you and eventually exterminate you...hence you will not be even born...let alone live till whatever age you are...we all come from a single cell, formed from our dad's sperm and our mum's ovum. isn't that cell gonna be you? if i took that cell...there won't be you!

so even before the 14th day...that bunch of cells has the ability to grow and develop into a human being...into you and me. yes i know the research of embryonic stem cell is extremely useful...but....

i used to think life begins at implantation..but this doctor made me change my mind... though i have never really approved of embryonic stem cell research....just disliked the idea of toying with embryos...life on earth begins at a point..at conception. life on earth ends at a point...the moment your heart stops beating. yes they are many debates, many arguments and many controversies... i guess u just gotta have your own opinions, have your reasons for those opinions...and stick to it..

life is just so precious...even if your life sucks or you aren't happy...don't throw it away! i never will do that. hence i'm the last person you'll expect to take her own life...plus God is in control of my life...

This girl posted at 7:38 PM

Saturday, June 26, 2004

it's been a slow week... fully recovered from my horrible cold..which forced me to cancel on 2 very important events...

went book reading at kinokuniya with louisa...always such a bundle of joy to catch up with her. we always end up laughing and laughing... wonder how she'll measure up as a room-mate...hahaha~

i'm done with driving lessons!! just 4 more revision lessons...book my test date...then i'm off... wonder if i'll pass...hope so! the test is quite ex...100+ bucks...

beckham missed the penalty! again! he really cannot make it already... and my dear michael owen scored the opening goal at 2:35 mins!! it was spectacular... but...england's out...good also..they're super over-rated.

anyway...i have 2 books to read now...kitchen confidential by anthony bourdain (host of one of my fav show on discovery travel and adventure channel...he's witty, funny, daring and a really good cook.)...and i've kissed dating goodbye by joshua harris...romance and dating from a christian's perspective. highly acclaimed and praised by louisa, melody.... louisa says it paints a pessimistic outlook to dating and finding that guy....

caught the pilot of the apprentice...really good! donald trump looks weird with his hair...and i can't imagine how rich he is...judging from the properties he owns, the casino (which'll rake in millions), trump tower on 5th ave at NYC, his apartment (oh do u really need so much gold in your house? practically everything is gold or gold-plated). BUT that's not the point. the stars are the 16 men and women, a good mix of high-school-diplomas-but-got-experience and multiple-degrees-from-ivy-leauges-but-not-much-experience and high-filers-with-both.

i already know who won...(yesyes i read too much gossip mags)...but he was practically non-existent in the pilot. the people who stood out, not necessary for good reasons... in Versacorp (the guys...funny name really) troy..project manager...he's hunky haha~...sam...really freaky dangerous risk taker (who wanted to sell this guy lemonade for US$1000)..and david...he has a MD and a MBA from harvard. u could go calculate how many years he spent in school... taking into account to do medicine in US you need a basic bachelor's first. in protege corporation (the ladies...good name..) tammy...whiny oh-my-feet-hurt-so-much and let-me-go-for-lunch-for-one-hour-while-my-colleagues-work...she irriates me..and this black girl..her name starts with O...and the project leader very pretty...anyway their first business task was to go out into the streets of new york to sell lemonade....and as you know...sex sells...so the women, despite starting out really badly...managed to profit by 400%..while the men, who actually looked quite promising at the start, only doubled their capital. so the men had to go in front of trump and his associates in the boardroom...explain...and subsequently, david was fired.

yes..david the one with the medical and MBA degree from harvard. his credentials were excellent no doubt. he's smart enough to pass all the exams...dang...he's smart enough to get into harvard. and he's the first one fired. and this only shows one thing. grades and degrees don't guarantee success. they are definitely mutually exclusive. we see many graduates who are unemployed (maybe 'cos they're choosy), many graduates who start so low on the corporate ladder. and it just reiterates one thing. experience matters. your personality matters. your morals matter.

enough said. let's see what kinda drama will unfold the week after next.

This girl posted at 12:03 PM

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

continuing...

*people think they're not computers because they have feelings and computers don't have feelings. but feelings are just having a picture on the screen in your head of what is going to happen tomorrow or next year, or what might have happened instead of what did happen, and if it's a happy picture they smile and if it is a sad picture they cry.

*2 to the power of 25 is 33554432.

*the constellation Orion is called orion because orion was a hunter and the constellation looks like a hunter with a club and a bow and arrow. but it's silly because they're just stars and you can join the dots in any way you want.

*most people are lazy. they never look at everything. they do what is called 'glancing', which is the same word for bumping off something and carrying on in almost the same direction. (physics!!)

*time is only the relationship between the way different things change, like the earth going round the sun. it is like west or north east, which don't exist when the earth stops existing and falls into the sun because it is only a relationship between the north pole and south pole. it isn't a fixed relationship (like the relationship between 4 and 8), it depends on how fast you're going relative to a specific point.

strongly recommended... =) because not only you can learn some valuable lessons, general knowledge, insightful thoughts, you learn about the mind of people with autism. how incredible logical they are... it amazes me all the time... if you want to find out more...check out the links on your left! and if you want to do something worthwhile and related to autism, or just want to experience first hand, contact me because there're volunteer programmes around (which i volunteer for too...). spread the love!

This girl posted at 12:38 PM

Monday, June 21, 2004

stayed at home today...battling my blocked-runny nose...sigh~

lessons learnt from 'the curious incident of the dog in the night-time' by mark haddon

*******CAUTION - SPOILER ALERT***********

FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO DISCOVER THE WONDERS OF THE MIND OF A YOUNG AUTISTIC TEEN ON THEIR OWN, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN OR JUST IGNORE THIS POST
*the number 1 is not a prime number. the smallest prime number is 2.

*prime numbers are useful for writing codes. in the US if u find a prime number 100 digits long, tell the CIA and you get $10,000. not bad eh?

*the milky way is not a long line of stars. our galaxy is a huge disk of stars millions of lightyears across, and the solar system is somewhere near the outside edge of the disk.

*the universe is expanding. the stars are all rushing away from one another after the Big Bang, and the further the stars are away the faster they move, that's why their light never reaches us and hence the sky appears dark.

*people do a lot of talking without using any words. (ie. our facial and emotional expressions)

*metaphors do not make sense at all. and christopher thinks they're all lies. which makes perfect sense.

*a lie is when you say something happened which didn't happen. but there is only ever one thing which happened at a particular time and a particular place. and there are an infinite number of things which didn't happen at that time and that place.

*being clever is when you look at how things are and use the evidence to work out something new.

*if you see someone's name and you give each letter a value from 1-26 accordingly, add them up and find that it adds up to a prime number. (i don't think this is true...cos my name adds to 85...i think..)

*a heart attack is when some of the muscles in the heart stop getting blood and die. there're 2 main types of heart attack. the first is an embolism, where a blood clot blocks one of the blood vessels taking blood to the muscles in the heart. an aneurysm is when a blood vessel breaks and the blood doesn't get to the heart muscles because it's leaking.

*when people give instructions, they don't say how long or how big or how ~ those instructions are for. 'keep quiet'..but they never say for how long. 'keep off the grass' but never say which part of the grass.

*people break rules all the time.

*a black hole is a singularity, which means it is impossible to find out what is on the other side because the gravity of a black hole is so big that even EM waves like light can't get out of it. if heaven was on the other side of a black hole, dead people would have to be fired into space on rockets to get there, and they aren't or people would notice.

*Christopher thinks people believe in heaven because they don't like the idea of dying.

*a white lie is not a lie at all. it is where you tell the truth but you do not tell all of the truth. this means that everything you say is a white lie because when someone says for example, 'what do you want to do today?' you don't say 'i want to have my lunch and i want to go to the toilet etc...'

*intuition can sometimes get things wrong. and intuition is what people use in life to make decisions. but logic can help you work out the right answer. (referring to the monty hall problem.)

*there;s always something new that science can discover, and all the facts that you take for granted can be completely wrong.

*in life you have to take lots of decisions and if you don't take decisions you would never do anything because you would spend all your time choosing between things you could do. so it is good to have a reason why you hate some things and you like others.

*a murder victim is usually killed by someone known to them.

*fairies are made out of paper.

*you can't talk to someone who is dead.

*lots of things are mysteries. but that doesn't mean there isn't an answer to them. it's just that scientists haven't found the answer yet. but some mysteries are not mysteries at all. they can be solved using logic and maths.

*the mind is a complicated machine. when we look at things we think we're just looking out of our eyes. but we're actually looking at a screen inside our heads, like a computer screen.

it's time for Alias! will continue tomorrow...

This girl posted at 10:51 PM

people always say you shouldn't care about what others think of you...but as i learnt from christopher (the autistic teen in the book the curious incident of the dog in night-time)..everyone's connected..whether you like it or not. things that you do affects others, just as how what they do will affect you in one way or another. what you do this second can save your life but another one is killed in that process. what choices you make now may kill you, but may save another person. if you woke up late and missed your plane and that plane crashed...if u just decided to walk a little faster and the pole which collapsed hit the person behind you and killed him...

this is probably one of those things you can never comprehend..and you shouldn't even try to analyse it.

anyway there are 2 songs that share the same words as my blog title..one is by stacie orrioco..one is a Christian song. i have yet to trace this song..but it was sung by Clay too..

More To Life

Today i watched in silence
As people pass me by
And i strained to see if there was something hidden in their eyes
But they all look back at me as if to say
Life just goes on

The old familiar stories
Told in different ways
Make the most of your own journey from the cradle to the grave
Dream your dreams tomorrow because today
Life must go on

Chorus
And there's more to this life
Living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see
And there's more in this life alone can be

He takes care of his family
He takes care of his work
Every sunday morning he takes his place at the church
Sometimes he still feels the need to search
Life just goes on

At night he lies in silence
Staring into space
Looks for ways to make tomorrow better than today
And then the morning light looks to say
Life must go on

chorus

Bridge
Where do we start to find every part
Of what makes this life complete
If we turn our eyes to Jesus we'll find
Life's true beginning is there at the cross where He died

To bring us
chorus
i love this song... =)

This girl posted at 3:40 PM

back from malaysia trip with my family... was not too bad..it was purely an EATING-SHOPPING trip...can't help it. stuff there is super cheap (esp. when you convert to sing $$) and the food at penang is excellent! char kway tiao, penang laksa (the best!), grilled chicken wings, cuttlefish, chendol (the original penang one...), beef kway tiao, wan tan noodles, chee cheong fun, super cheap fruit juicies, claypot chicken rice, mee goreng, nasi bryani, tom yam yong tow foo...argh it's endless (and i need to exercise)...maybe that's why i'm down with a cold now... oh yah other than penang we also went KL...as a stopover only..

my only peeve about this trip is the long bus rides. don't get me wrong i love the scenary as we cruised (bumpily) the whole of peninsula m'sia...it's nice (considering it's so near s'pore and cheap..cos if u want breath-taking scenary u've gotta go at least china, australi, NZ or europe)..but the hours are long...it tires you out cos you can't really sleep properly...and when we reach our destination everyone's cranky and snaps at one another...

this time not much shopping...cos penang shopping kinda sucks...the nicest shopping centre resembles tampines mall (only)..the biggest one resembles far east shopping centre (the one opp. ngee ann city..not the one where we get fabulous clothes at fabulous prices...sort of...)...or another option is city plaza along geylang. you get the idea... the branded stuff prices are all controlled...so it's the same...like mango, nike, addidas... so the best is go for nice m'sian brands...like vincci( known as VNC in s'pore...at citylink) and seed...bought 2 pairs of shoes and earrings for someone...that's about it...also because i stopped myself...from impulse buying...and cos i have tons of clothes sitting at home..some not even worn before...=)

cos of long bus rides..gave me a lot of time to think about stuff...since i can't get to sleep either and i finished 2 books already (the curious incident and 5 people you meet in heaven..both excellent.)..plus the entire cosmopolitan canada...i thought about so many things...some good, some nonsensical, some thought-provoking, some are song-induced...some are incident-induced.. like how i'll never be the same without my family...and just how i came to realise how much i love them...(even though my parents get on my nerves quite often). how i'll never be the same without my friends..who is my constant outlet for ranting, for advice, for encouragement, for companionship. how i'll never be the same without learning about God's word and going to church. things that i've so oftenly taken for granted... the material things that make my life so much more comfortable (you can see it both ways but i'd like to see it the good way...) but never making me some spoiled, always wanting the most expensive things and always wanting everything girl. having said that..i think i'm really sheltered and taken care of...and really blessed...the world around me is spinning into madness...there're people who go 'sell themselves' at age 12, people who are trapped in the cycle of poverty, greed, lust which ultimately destroys them..innocent people are killed at gunpoint...at a crossfire...

and here i am... listening to clay's beautiful voice (haha~ just had to add that in), typing on my computer, sitting in an air-con room (the heat's terrible...)with a runny nose, with plenty of water to drink...with a future ahead of me... it's amazing how your perception changes once you take all these into consideration. you start to be thankful, you start to live your life properly..one that is pleasing to society, pleasing to yourself and pleasing to God.

feeling blessed... =)

This girl posted at 2:52 PM

Friday, June 11, 2004

so many good things happened!! super happy week... =)

the biggest news is probably i got the MOE teaching award... which i am so thankful for. because i have been praying to God for some sense of direction for my life. i know He has a greater plan for me than i can ever imagine and He is slowly revealing it to me. when the A level results were announced, when i had to decide my university and scholarship applications, when i got rejected by DSTA and PSC and almost by MOE, when i didn't get into faculty of medicine, when i got into NTU biological sciences, and finally when i got the teaching award... i could feel His presence, His hand in it all...and i came to a conclusion that He is leading me down the teaching path rather than the medicine-and-be-a-doctor path. so i have accepted the award and i'll probably be the first person to do it at NTU school of biological sciences because all of MOE's science scholars all go NUS science faculty. so my career and my life for the next 8 years is set...4 years at NTU, 1 year at NIE doing a postgraduate dip in education and 3 years serving my bond...teacher chen kee said if she was still around 5 years later...she'll pull me into tj...=) i thank God for her presence in my life too...

next...i passed my final theory of driving test!! haha~ so happy about it because i hardly studied (just crammed everything on the day itself and did ten yr series questions...haha~). now have to brush up on my driving skills! just learn parallel parking today...not too bad...never strike the poles down...

had tea and a LONG chat with Ian today...went to royal copenhagan at taka for scones and earl grey...very nice! as usual we talked and chatted and debated over a wide range of topics, from pre-marital sex (make that underage pre-teen pre-adulthood pre-puberty sex too) to nicole kidman to harry potter to metrosexuals to LOTR to censorship to autism and our brain to split personality disorders and DNA structure...stayed there for almost 5 hours and the ppl were nice enough not to throw us out...=)

speaking of nice company over food...had dinner with pastor mark, teacher chen kee, melody and louisa on wednesday at out of the pan at raffles city. i've never laughed so much till my cheekbones hurt....never till that night...but as funny as it was...with 2 lame adults and 3 lame young ladies...had a great time talking, chatting and fellowshipping with them. because it's just so easy to talk to them about anything under the sun. and they were so open about things. they told us all about their wedding and their honeymoon....which was hilarious... they were also concerned about our future plans..our dreams and aspirations...hmmm....

*smiles*

set up my business for the very first time...at clarke quay flea market with melody and joyce. was very fun! and pretty successful...considering the clothes we sold were clothes we no longer wanted, or could fit into...each of us pocketed $58...i would highly recommend it...just go for it at least once! try everything once!

watched troy and harry potter and the prisoner of aszkaban this week...believe it or not i preferred troy to HP!! and those who know me know i'm a HP fan...well...it';s not that troy was exceptionally good (though brad pitt was a positive thing...hee~) but HP wasn't up to my expectations....it stayed faithful to the book, but not in chronological order (the firebolt at the end with NO explanation??) and not in it's entirety (some nice and impt scenes left out...like grff winning the quidditch cup, the unforgivable curses and the original longer version of the story behind sirius). but being a HP fan...i would still recommend the movie to HP fans and non-HP fans...because it gives a beautiful interpretation of hogwarts ground, buckbeak, dementors, sirius...though the script was too choppy, the cinematography was very good and the acting improved (except dumbledore...)...i think emma thompson was prof trelawney was hilarious! thompson's prof tickled me tremendously while rowling's prof just irritated me....but that's just me!~

troy was a huge epic...complete with your hollywood special effects (previously already done by LOTR), greek style fighting (previously done by gladiator) with excellent cheoreography, exciting camera work, beautiful scenary and beautiful leads and supporting roles and a moving story which brought me to tears!! sigh~

taught melody and louisa how to bake jamie oliver's super easy fruit crumble on wed....it was great fun seeing my dear friends in the kitchen wrestling with knifes and apples and flour+sugar+butter... we baked 2 crumbles. one apple one pear...we ate the apple one with ben & jerry's vanilla...we gave the pear one to pastor mark and tr. chen kee, which pastor mark later msged me to say it was excellent...esp with b & j's vanilla...louisa's cookies didn't turn out well...so i'm gonna salvage it tmr morning...hee~

went to watch the transit of venus on tuesday...it was beautiful..seeing my Sun for the first time...with venus dotting it's surface..feel so privileged to be able to catch it with filters and magnified with telescopes...

ah the wonders of our universe....it's amazing really....

i'm so tired! need sleep...pondered and laughed over many things today....esp when i had remedial with my tj students...*so surreal...seems like yesterday i myself had biology remedial* and the stuff i talked about with Ian today...too many to put to words..maybe i'll just ramble it here when i come back from penang next week....i'll probably not forget it..'cos it's too intriguing...and just nice i'm starting on the curious incident of the dog in night-time..this autobiography of an autistic young man...very insightful...

a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics...

I Believe - Diana DeGarmo/Fantasia Barrino
Cowritten by Tamyra Gray

Have you ever reached a rainbow's end?
Did you find your pot of gold?
Ever catch a shooting star?
Tell me how high did you soar

Ever felt like you were dreaming
Just to find that you're awake?
'Cos the magic that surrounds you
Can lift you up and guide you on your way

I can see it in the stars across the sky
Dream a hundred thousand dreams before
And now I finally realise
You see I waited all my life
For this moment to arrive
And finally

I believe in the impossible
If I reach deep within my heart
Overcome any obstacles
Won't let this dream fall apart
You see I strive to be the very best
Shine my light for all to see
That anything is possible
When you believe

I can see it in the stars across the sky
Dream a hundred thousand dreams before
And now I finally realize
I waited all my life
For this moment to arrive
And finally
I believe

Yes i believe...

Love keeps lifting me higher
Love keeps lifting me higher

good night people...have a good week! =)

This girl posted at 11:31 PM