Thursday, January 27, 2005

should i apply for INSTEP? to cornell university? wonder if it's super competitve... wonder if i should just try... of course...must always seek the Lord... pray He'll give me some direction.

school's been quite normal...this sem is more bearable. psychology is a interesting addition to my biological core modules... it's really cool to learn about evolutionary psych..mating strategies of the male and female...post traumatic stress disorder experienced by tsunami victims...hypnosis...consciousness... the rest of my bio mods are focussed on the cell and DNA... not too bad... better than last sem.

joined youth choir at church. it's been a wonderful few practices. the last time i was in choir was in primary school. and i loved it. now i still love it. and it gives me more satisfaction since i'm singing for the Lord and serving in a ministry at church. been having weekly lunches with the NTU-NIE-bethany people...louisa, teacher aileen, teacher carol, teacher elaine, xiaohan and shanni. it's always a wonderful time of fellowship. =)

sometimes i look at the struggles i go through in my life and i feel so tired. i'm starting to get cranky easily and tend to snap at people more often..which i don't want... and sometimes i think my tone of voice comes across as grouchy when i didn't meant for it to be grouchy...if you know what i mean. then those friends of mine will tell me to 'eh, relax lah'... and i'm so puzzled because i really wasn't agitated...

struggle n. spell of struggling; vigorous effort; hard contest

been struggling with my faith and my walk with God. how to CONTINUE... memorising His word, going to church, singing in choir, finding the time and energy to do quiet time every day without fail. yiyong was just telling me about something she read...about how this man met with Jesus everyday in his study room. then work overload and all caused him to not do quiet time everyday...but one day he saw Jesus sitting in that very room...and Jesus told him "I was here everyday, here in this room waiting for you."...so He loves us so much and He wants to spend sometime with us everyday...so it gives us even more reason to spend time with Him everyday.

no distractions. no TV. no msn. no internet.

"But you must continue in the things which you have learnt and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learnt them."
2 Timothy 3:14

This girl posted at 11:18 PM

Thursday, January 13, 2005

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal."

Matthew 6:19-20

Long ago, Satan tempted Jesus with all the riches of the world. Jesus rejected him. No second thoughts. No questions asked. He would have ended up worshipping the devil if he did accept him.

treasures of the earth... wealth..the 5Cs...fame...riches...status...acceptance by society..trying to fit in...being hip and cool...

treaures of heaven...

"And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments of the Lord and His statues which I command you today for your good?"

Deutronomy 10:12

and it goes on to say...

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:21

people are so preoccupied with pursuing the treasures of the earth. and i get it. it is attractive, this world with all it's "treasures". but i guess these people are walking in darkness and not in the light. life is just not all about money. you are not born to serve Money. and in this case any other earthly treasure. you should not sacrifice time, energy, health, family for this thing called Money. yes it's sometimes necessary...but i'm pretty sure there's a way to get around it. with the Lord's grace and leading...this should not take place.

reading grace's entry...people change. we were once a bunch of carefree innocent secondary school friends. now it's different. the guys are in NS, where one wrong step and peer pressure can lead u down the spiral... the girls are in uni..where we are now exposed to the real world...and it's the same thing...one wrong step and its a nosedive...ok..i'm exaggerating..but the idea's the same. where did all the innocence go to? why did they start smoking? when? when did they start thinking that getting drunk was something that can be tolerated?

just thankful the Lord didn't bring me down this road. He let me learn my lessons from what i see and what i learn and what i read. i love Him so much.

quite upset when i read her entry and thought about all these.

good thing sam's around to make me smile...

This girl posted at 1:09 AM

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

2005.

things to look forward to...

getting to know the Lord much deeper, learning His ways and reading His word. going to church and walking with Him.
spending time with loved ones, realising how much i love them, my parents, my sisters, my aunt, my dog, my boyfriend, my friends..and never to take them for granted.
learning more in school...biochemistry II, principles of genetics, molecular biology, cell biology, introduction to psychology... hopefully it'll be a good semester.
planning for union orientation camp...volunteering at singapore boys' hostel and autism children's centre...
working on hall production..should be learning more new stuff here...
be a stronger person with courage...

did you ever felt the need to tell someone something? something that has been bothering you, on your mind and you just need to get it off your chest? when that something is something personal, something close to your heart...you'll tend to only tell it to someone you trust. a best friend. a soulmate. a sibling.

it is hard for me to tell someone the deepest thoughts that i have. it may have stemmed from my lack of companionship when i was younger. no one to tell. so keep it inside me. but as i grew older and matured and learnt to trust persons (not people), i'm beggining to open up. about faith, family, love, emotions. and i think to be able to share with someone these things is not necessarily a bad thing. it may be a healthy thing to do for your emotional quotient.

so to the persons whom i unload all my ramblings to..thank you so much for listening. if you ever need a listening ear, i'm there.

thank you.

This girl posted at 5:09 PM