Sunday, November 26, 2006

oh more exams.

isn't that the prettiest thing?


those are chinese hamster ovarian cells. we injected flourescent proteins into the DNA, and as a result, they glow under the fluorescence microscope. those light blue spots you see are the cell nuclei, where DNA resides. the red spots are a special protein which we injected along with the glowing stuff. should have edited the red pic. oh well.

you know i think they look so mystical? like dots in outer space. it's really quite a nice picture to look at. and i marvel at its size. even the smallest thing can change the fate of this world. look at the HIV virus.


presenting cancer cells of the brain. aka neuroblastoma cells. see how innocent they look. they are actually idiots who are so darn smart at evading our body's immune system and launch counterattack after counterattack to survive in the body, then manifesting as cancer.

anyway this is the kinda things i do in school. taking cells from rats, hamsters, ourselves and subjecting them to weird things like glowing stuff and growth factors and inducing them to become cancer cells and checking our DNA for huntington's disease. and seeing our results via microscope and capturing them using a stylo-mylo digital SLR attached to the microscope, resulting in 6mb photos.

post more pretty pictures after i come back from japan. =)

2 more papers. ala plant biology which is a total nightmare. 'cos its plants. i have nothing against them. its just... plants! tr. chen kee can sympathetize with me. followed by cancer biology. then on to time with sam celebrating 2 years (has it been 2 years already!?!?) then back home to sleep till i drop. pack last minute and on the jetplane to tokyo. am quite excited about U2 concert though. hope jiejie's contact managed to get tix to that sold-out concert.

i actually have many many thoughts that come to me while i study and i wanna blog but the notes and lack-of-time beckon me to stay away from blogger.

just did my teacher evaluation forms online (those s*u dudes who laugh at ntu for having our evaluations on paper instead of stylo online like theirs, get a life). gave glowing reviews to klaus heese, salil bose, mark featherstone. 3 profs which i like the best this sem. =) klaus, not because he's a great teacher. he's not. but he's a really nice bloke. and the most misunderstood prof in sbs. bose, just because he's an excellent teacher. he's so nice and warm and funny and he's the first prof i had lunch with. and twice somemore! and featherstone, an excellent teacher too.

p.s. grey's anatomy is getting sooo exciting and the tables are turned! i can't say anything 'cos i don't wanna spoil it for people who haven't watch season 3. sandra oh is an excellent actress. really.

p.p.s clay was soooo adorable on tyra banks show. they have such great chemistry together and she's really crazy and spontaneous with clay around.

the past 3 papers this week. research paper was alright. developmental bio wasn't as bad as we expected. human genetics was just horrid. the fatigue coupled with 10,000 things to commit to memory equals a horrible paper which is in God's hands now and i know it'll be alright and it's all in His grace and mercy that i had 2 relatively ok papers. i saw another group of people praying before i entered the sbs hall for genetics paper and i smiled. =) having just finished my group prayer.

ok back to plants. i love plants. yes i do. really. they're just the most wonderful things.

Labels: clay aiken, grey's anatomy, lab, plants, teachers

This girl posted at 9:34 PM

Saturday, November 18, 2006

balance.

new blog alert.

my adventures in seattle starts here. p.s. derek shepherd, the blog address is a tribute to you. =)

anyway, while studying human genetics, i suddenly thought about balance.

balance is one tough cookie. have you ever tried, when you were just a kid, sitting on the see-saw with your friend at the playground, and trying to balance it? i did that once or twice. that's my inquisitive 5-year-old self. the other 10000 times i just had tons of fun bopping up and down.

it never balances. maybe once in a million times, it does.

a long time ago i mused on this blog about how a person will always wind up disappointed or not pleased when i do something. i'm sure not just me, people go through this. whatever decision we make, we always end up disappointing someone, or hurting someone, or making someone angry or displeased. it seems like the equation tipping itself back to zero. with every happy person, there has to be a unhappy person.

just like how neo had to die before smith can die in matrix revolutions. because one cannot exist without the other. because if that happens, the equation is shifted and that cannot happen. there's always good and evil. dark side and luke skywalker. God and satan.

ok not so accurate analogy.

but when i think about it, this just makes the person making the decision even more unhappy. because he/she knows his/her decision has made someone unhappy and thus now he/she is caught in a dilemma. whether or not to proceed on with that decision.

so can you ever balance it out? make all parties not so miserable?

that's why God is so great. because knowing that He has a plan for all of us, we can place our utmost trust in Him that He will show us the way. He will guide us in the truth. and we can safely make decisions knowing that it is in His plan and its the right way to go. and people around us can trust in Him too. that this is the correct path for you. and hence all the unhappiness will be gone. along with the worrying and second-guessing.

it is He who provides balance. how wonderful this thought is.

would love to muse more but complex disorders is sitting here waiting to be studied. i'm so pleased i did more lectures than i planned to do. i'm also pleased that following pastor's message on "a fruitful life is a result of planning" during YAG retreat i've planned my exam timetable in more details. =) and today's a good day.

"Show me Your ways, O Lord.
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me.
For you are the God of my salvation,
Oh you I wait all the day."
- Psalm 25:4-5

Labels: balance, plans, trusting God

This girl posted at 11:21 PM

Thursday, November 16, 2006

the answer.

one down. just 5 more to go. and off to japan i go. come back pack pack. say goodbye to singapore friends family sam. =( oh no i'm so sad. tentative flying date is 27th dec. gotta get there by 28th dec, but because of the time difference, i'll only take 2 hours to get there. hurhur.

oh no i'm sad.

neurobiology paper today drained me of all my brain energy. i was sssooo nervous before the paper and was trying to cram more and more facts into my head before i walk into nanyang audi. champ was so sweet he called me for lab report photos and we said a prayer over the phone. =) i'm so thankful for friends like him. before i started the paper, as usual, said my own calming prayer which got me doing my paper. still i forgot stuff. its frustrating when you sit there and stare at the question, knowing exactly which tutorial it came from, but not knowing the most important thing - the answer.

just bought corrinne may's cd at jp today. did a little shopping as i got my xrays done for medical checkup for gip. the flu vaccination was sssooo painful i was taken aback and almost screamed. normally i don't remember jabs being painful so there i was happily looking around and the nurse says "take a deep breath" and bam the needle went in and only a split second later the pain came.

darn those nociceptors. and its those C-fibers one leh. the pain lasted for a loonnngg time. now its still aching.

anywayyy corrinne's cd is really good. except for 2 tracks which i don't like the arrangement at all because i think traditional christmas carols should never be arranged in a pop way complete with drums! for joy to the world!! it sounds weird. the other 9 tracks are beautiful really. and they are the tradition carols that we sing in church! so i'm just so happy listening to them on the drive home.

waiting patiently for damien rice's new album to be out in singapore. i'm so sad i'll miss clay's christmas concerts by 4 days. arghhh. ok lah not that he's playing in seattle also. hope for a summer tour.

i'm so tired. was just pondering over corrinne may's lyrics for her song "the answer", written to the music of gustav holst's "jupiter" from the planets suite. you can listen to it at myspace. it's just beautiful.

The Answer
lyrics by Corrinne May Ying Foo

I belive You are the answer to every tear I've cried
I believe that You are with me / My rising and my light

Give me strength when I am weary / Give me hope when I can't see
Through the crosses I must carry / Lord, bind my heart to thee

That when all my days are over / and all my chores are done
I may see Your risen Glory / forever where You are

it speaks about how the Lord is our strength and hope. and how He gives grace and mercy everyday. today at my most desperate time of need i remembered how the psalmists will always look to the Lord for help and guidance during desperate times. in times of tears, and even in times of joy. i was so relieved after the paper and immediately thanked the Lord in prayer once again.

everyday there's just so many things to thank God for. and even when i'm weary and lost and tired i'm going to resolve to always look to Him for comfort and strength.

and when the days are over and when our work is done, that we may see His Glory and His Kingdom. but as what we were talking about with pastor mitch 2 saturdays ago, that we can seek His Kingdom NOW, not just when the days are over. because where we are, on earth and everywhere else, we are part of His Kingdom. and He is the King that governs all things, who created all things. who knows all things. and He knows me and cares for me. =)

Labels: corrinne may, neurobiology

This girl posted at 7:04 PM

Saturday, November 11, 2006

torn.

long time no blog.

it has been nonstop madness. somehow blogging took the 76th position on my to-do list.

many many things happened since my last entry. ok not a lot. considering how mundane my life is now. wake up. study. eat. talk. laugh. snack. nap. study. check emails. study. eat. talk. bathe. snack. sleep. not in this order obviously.

the exams are really taking a toll on everybody in bioscience. not just me. everyone looks either zonked out, stoned, damn tired, or those who look suspiciously happy are those who have resigned to their fate of doom. i'm struggling to focus. to focus on the Lord's strength which i know He so abundantly gives it to me but yet i'm just so distracted to harness it. not to mention many other issues that crop up and i have no idea what i'd do if sam was not around to listen to me and talk and lend me a shoulder to cry on.

i have a million things to do. a million lectures to memorize. but yet all i wanna do is sleep. and watch tv. just got lost episodes yay.

just came from watching the prestige at the spanking new and nice vivocity GV with super wide comfy seats and leg room that rivals singapore airlines business class. ok not that much. i liked the movie. its smart and twisty. the plot is excellent. acting ok lah. although i'm biased towards hugh jackman and christian bale and the old guy michael caine. christopher nolan is a really gifted director and storyteller!! he manages 10000 flashbacks of different people at different times so smoothly and yet we still understand what's going on! i guess this frequent organized chaotic flashbacks contributed to the long running time of the movie. which sam thinks its so draggy. hey LOTR is worse ok. 3 hours. who can beat that? i love the plot the best. the nuances, the little clues that all make sense once you reach the end. the parallels. the issues.

i wanna shop at vivo. so many of my favourite shops in one shopping centre. sam and i went to 2 different places for dinner. the hokkien prawn noodles at food republic, though expensive, is really really good! rivals the bedok south one, opposite tj. then nice curry pork katsu don at sushi teh, thanks to pastor mitch's recommendation. =) i love eating. went meiji factory today again. bought many snacks. arghhhh jeans getting tighter.

weeks ago was YAG retreat, which i was so glad that i was able to go for more than half of the sessions. thanks to the deepa-raya long weekend. theme was 'a fruitful life' and i learnt so much. i was just thinking about thanksgiving that's coming up in the US and i'm so thankful that the Lord places special people in my life to help me through it all. i know i'd be a total wreck without sam and my life has taken another direction since 2 years ago. i know things will never be the same without the pastors and teachers and friends from bethany. i know school will never be as much fun without carlene ed rc champ andrea angie samuel and so many more. esp champ who is always sharing his research and lab reports with his poor struggling friends.

now as exams draw near i have a renewed sense of thankfulness to the Lord for Him! that i know Him and i know He'll be there and not only that, He goes before me and prepares to road ahead. He loves and He gives without receiving. He, who is all-knowing and powerful, would care to know my name. that my prayers would be answered in time. that He is my King.

This girl posted at 1:34 AM