Saturday, May 28, 2005

Bless The Broken Road
Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

This girl posted at 11:07 PM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

sentosa was fun fun fun! =) had great company, great sun sand and sea, great food at ikea....

just enough to keep my mind distracted.....i must stop this sam business....

had a semi-good tan at the beach. ended with a more even front but still not even back. and red cheeks! ikea dinner comprised swedish meatballs, curry rice, poached salmon and chicken wings! later walked around ikea looking at nice furniture and doing silly things. haha~

was nice to see carlene, champ, edward and angie again.

carrie underwood won american idol. i'm cursed. the person i root for always end up at 2nd place. argh.

my darling sis came over to make us milkshakes. it's delicious. =)

goes well when you mix banana, blueberries and strawberries.

you stick a handful of berries, half a banana thinly sliced, 3 tablespoons of low fat yoghurt, 1 tablespoon of milk, half tablespoon of honey and ice into a blender. that's it! it's perfect....

This girl posted at 11:10 PM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Your #1 Match: ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #2 Match: ISFP

The Artist You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now). You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children. Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life. Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs. You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #3 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first. A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change. You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project. You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people. You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

oh well... watching surfing the menu now... the 2 surfer dudes-cooks are cooking lobster! argh...it looks so nice. my sis just bought the cookbook with recipes from their show... looking forward to eating!

sam's leaving. =(

on a happier note, dinner at bukit timah market was fabulous. some excellent sambal stingray, carrot cake and chicken baked rice. then went over and meet the parents and help sam pack. going sentosa tmr with the t4 gang! so exciting....

This girl posted at 12:26 AM

Sunday, May 22, 2005

check out this hilarious spoof of star wars with a message...

i was laughing my head off. it spoofs episodes IV, V and VI though...not III.

Store Wars

This girl posted at 11:32 PM

Saturday, May 21, 2005

finally starhub surfing speed back to normal.... quite frustrating when you're surfing on broadband and it's slow and you don't know why until you read straits times today.

facial was indeed relaxing and pampering. got my eyebrows plucked, blackheads removed, dead skin cells removed. had nice tea, massage of head shoulders neck and arms. got smooth skin!

i've been spending way too much money. time to be a hermit and stay home.

i keep reminding myself to be gracious. to be mindful of God always. and to do what He pleases. it's difficult. very.

today has been really strange. my mood is swinging quite drastically. and i have no clue what is the cause of it. in church i was happy, and listening carefully to pastor as he talked about the danger of being foolish. and of course laughing at student pastors kenneth and christopher at their attempts to re-enact darth vader and darth maul respectively. during choir we learnt a really really nice new song... polished the song Grace. was generally a happy girl....

then my mood took a drastic turn. i have no idea why i was so easily irritated. normally my threshold is higher than this. somehow something lowered that threshold until things that were light-hearted/harmless/joking turned into a nightmare irritation fest. which led to a horrid drive back home.

attempt to find out why threshold is lowered. sam's leaving. some not-exactly-called-problems things. horrid exam results. planning programme for boys hostel camp. crappy exam results. sam leaving.

so when does a joke in which its original intention was to make you laugh, elicits irritation in you? how do you know when to stop the crapping around?

sometimes i wished i had autism. then i'd have an excuse to not interpret the facial and verbal clues to find out what the person is feeling. irritation or happiness.

why can't i exert a greater control over my emotions? but then again, by doing so, i'm faking being happy. i'm faking it - pretending that i'm not annoyed or irritated. so now the question becomes - which is better? to be yourself and be annoyed and ruin an eveing? or to fake it and have an 'enjoyable' evening?

This girl posted at 11:44 PM

Friday, May 20, 2005

star wars was gooooddd! =) i'm a happy girl.

spoilers ahead...please stop reading if you want to be kept in suspense. but with all the publicity and hype, spoilers are everywhere.

much better than previous 2 episodes. lucas still can't do love scenes properly. seriously. but he balances out with the great action and lightsaber-fighting and yoda-risms. hayden looks really evil and i cried at the part where obiwan injures vader so much that he's howling in pain, then he catches fire..and obiwan cries his heart out to him, mourning his loss of a friend, brother and apprentice. ohman.... then obiwan picks up anakin's lightsaber, turns around and walks away. (and you know that lightsaber would be given to luke in episode 4)...

lightsaber action kept me at the edge of my seat. between general greivous who yields so many lightsabers, i'm impressed with obiwan's skills. between count dooku and anakin. between yoda and darth sidious. mace windu and darth sidious still in palpatine disguise. and the final showdown of vader and obiwan.

upon further thought, the main idea in the whole star wars story is basically based on love and all sorts of human relationships. main storyline of anakin falling in love, falling to the dark side because of his love for padme, and ultimately, redeeming himself and fulfilling the prophecy by killing the emperor to save his son. then you have darth sidious and all the sith lords' love for power and dictatorship. love between friends like luke and han solo, between mentor and apprentice obiwan and anakin, quigon and obiwan, yoda and all the rest.

a long day, i had. sleep, i need.

musings next time, there will be.

This girl posted at 12:20 AM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

there are just so many things to be thankful for. and getting excited about.

for one - i just booked my star wars tickets online at cathay cineleisure. i'm watching the digital one! so excited... i can't believe i like star wars...such a geek. actually had a chance to watch it on wed night at 2350..but as if dad will allow..sigh~ so the thurs morning 1045 is the next best thing.

for two - i got my new phone! nokia 6230i. its so nice...i love it so much. the thing that amazes me...is bluetooth. i can transfer my photos so easily within seconds! shall try video-ing next.

for three - went to ACC today and got to play with the children! ah they're all quite lovely. 'cept for the occasional violence and disobedience. it's amazing how they're all diagnosed with the same condition yet they are all so different. each child is so different.

for four - going for a facial with xinpei on friday!

ok..the rest are just ho-hum.... need to write an article about UOC for the NTUSU newsletter..which i detest... bad journalism. and i'm writing for them! argh.... need to settle programme for hostel camp...need to wait for YFC project results... need to settle UOC stuff.... need to confirm my family's hongkong trip... i can't believe i've been to china 4 times and i have never stepped foot outside of asia and australia. ok shall not complain. shall not.

i've become more busy now that i've stopped working. so ironic. but its good since it keeps my busy, which i like..plus i won't miss sam that much when he leaves me to go on his trip.

i'm so excited about star wars... it's SO convenient to book tickets online. and u know whats the good thing about cathay? they allow you to choose your seats! first ehy allocate u the best seats first. then if u dun like u can change! how cool is that? ok...i don't usually book movie tickets online so pardon my excitement.

anyway i'm gonna miss star wars..just like how i miss lord of the rings after return of the king came out.

ok i need sleep. toodles.

This girl posted at 12:55 AM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

had a lovely saturday....

went down to ACC for awhile...helped yilin with tissue box-wrapping and bricks-drawing. had quite a laugh with her. yes just the 2 of us...

during ypg pastor mitch continued to talk about sin, or sin that is not being dealt with. which will cause turmoil of the heart. sounds chim? yes it is kind of deep. that's why he's there to explain and counsel. in psalm 38 david writes about how the problem of sin in his life has left him in such bad shape. he feels empty and weak. he feels a tremendous burden upon his shoulders. "My wounds are foul and festering." he is troubled and he mourns. he is severly broken and he groans because of the turmoil of his heart. it's amazing how sin, when left unchecked, can cause such depressing consequences. however, pastor mitch did say this struggle with sin is also an indication that we have not become indifferent and jaded. we are still sensitive to sin. spiritual sensitivity.

another jc student commits suicide. it's just so sad. friends are feeling empty. their lives are directionless. people around us sin perpetually without even basic human conscience.

i'm thankful i've come to know the Lord. because i'm pretty sure my life would be so different if i hadn't. i would also be one of those who would buckle under stress, under sin. thinking that life is meaningless and life is just all about studying, good grades.

NO! it's not. life is much bigger than that. there's more to life than just looks or grades or the latest kate spade summer collection of shoes. all it takes is to trust, to hope, to confess, to acknowledge, and to pray.

He will not forsake you... anchor your soul upon Him. and He will make your paths straight.

This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil,
Hebrews 6:19

He will complete the good work He began in you.

being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;
Philippians 1:6

He will strengthen you.

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Isaiah 41:10

anyway..sang more lovely songs during choir today. such a joy to sing for the Lord.

after that hung around the office. the guys were trying very hard to do some pilates moves. which was hilarious. chatted around. then mel louisa and i left to go suntec for dinner. had subway sandwhiches and cedelee depot dessert. very nice...

it's been such a rainy night... which doesn't come often. maybe i should crawl to bed now and enjoy while it lasts.

thank you Lord.

This girl posted at 12:24 AM

Friday, May 13, 2005

finished my very short relief teaching stint yesterday. was a joy and was very thankful for opportunities like these, though short. many thanks to teacher chen kee for the job offer. thanks to denise, ms. tiew, ms. teo, ms. de souza (who's getting married very soon! =) ), mr. tay, mr. cheng (both tearle and sherwin), star wars freak mr. ng and my students from 24/04 and 35/04. i helped babysit some classes..like IP class 1A/1B, SCG 17/05 and 19/05, and ms. teo's classes while she was on MC...was quite an eye-opener with the year 1s and sec 3s. the bio tutors are all taking turns to take MC..as in one after another! hang in there! 2 weeks more and you're done! haha esp. ms. tiew. at least no more IP classes. ha~

anyway had time to come home from school and resume my tv addiction this week. watched dvds, both old and new and of course my weekly dose of tv. anthony is out of american idol! =( but on the bright side, rob and amber didn't win amazing race! so happy that uchenna and joyce won. 'cos i also would not have liked ron and kelly to win. watching the newest season of alias on channel 5. it's niicceee.....

anyways had 2 shopping trips with sam this week. no i didn't buy a lot. just cleo, first mags, a hair cut and a new belt. i'm such a good girl. i need a new phone!! hopefully can get it this sunday. sam was just saying he has never seen me wear the same top more than 2-3 times... do i really have so many tops? ok maybe i do.... okok...i shall try and practise self-control. it's working! i'm no longer spending so much...haha......

i miss my schoolmates...where are you guys? can we go sentosa or at least meet up for dinner? hopefully everyone'll turn up, but not really banging on it.

star wars is coming! hayden christensen looks really evil in his yellow contacts. cannot wait. i shld go try the dark side M & M's...filled with dark chocolate. haha so cute. you shld check out the ad for it. a yellow M & M with a darth vader helmet with a grim expression, standing beside a really tall darth vader. the star wars hype is really quite incredible.

thinking about the star wars storylines. the good ol' good versus evil plot. while reading first mag's special cover story on star wars i come to notice how it mirrors life. how jedi knights are first trained by jedi masters, learning the ways of the Force, then becoming a jedi knight to protect the universe, and if you allow yourself to be tempted you'll fall into the evil clutches of the dark side, being seduced by it's greater power, less restrictions, a red lightsaber. how we learn to survive in our own world, if we get tempted and start to sin, we fall into the hands of evil ways.

other than the love part, the jedi rules are quite like christian principles of no hatred and no anger. a jedi shall not know hatred, nor anger, nor love...not word-for-word, but thats what one of the posters for episode II says. yoda says fear leads to the dark side...but nah....we must fear the Lord. so ok it's different... but hatred and anger does lead to the dark side. definitely.

you see the importance of a good mentor to guide you through. to impart the necessary knowledge. to guide and counsel. quigon-jinn, obiwan, yoda, mace windu were all great teachers to obiwan, anakin and luke.

then you look at the senate, which was plagued with political strife, which ultimately allowed chancellor palpatine aka the mastermind darth sidious to take over and become the emperor. and how he poisoned anakin's mind when anakin opens up to him about his problems. how he so cleverly suggested obiwan and anakin become padme's bodyguards, which led to their romance and all...

and there's the Force. something that the jedi uses to help them to think, to feel, to act. it is also a guiding force and is only used in defence, never attack. is used only for good and not evil.

point to note: it's impossible to have sound in space, because sound cannot travel through vaccum. so we can only assume space in movies is totally based on fiction, where space is not vaccum, OR that laws of physics and sound do not apply in movies.

ok i need sleep... end of rambling.

This girl posted at 10:51 PM

Monday, May 09, 2005

had a wonderful weekend. =)

saturday morning was a jurong birdpark outing with the kids and parents and volunteers of Autism Childrens' Centre at both simei and clementi. it was a bundle of joy and the first hand experience of working with children with autism is definitely very fulfilling. u really learn so much more than just reading about it on the net or thru' books. i was assigned to this boy called scott. he couldn't be older than 5, and he's still non-verbal, which means his speech sensory is not very developed as yet. and he is SO active! sam and i had to help his mum, run around to make sure he doesn't get hurt. but really, even though they were all children diagnosed with autism, they were all so different, because autism is a spectrum disorder. but seeing the kids having fun and playing in the water at the playground just makes you smile. =)

then went for lunch with sam first, before he sent me to church for ypg, where pastor mitch talked about dealing with problems of sin in our lives. again, how apt and how it relates to my life is astonishing. must come to realise my life is laden with sins and i have to deal with it. to repent and to acknowledge my sins and to pray for grace and mercy from the Lord. choir was nice 'cos we learnt more new and nice songs to sing. after church tr. aileen got me to stay back to sightsing this piece together with edlyn, samuel, amelia and michael. it was real jazzy and nice! first time i hear a jazzy worship song.

after church went home to have yummy mother's day dinner.

sunday went to watch Lord of the Dance! it was nice lah..in itself, though i have lots to complain about once i compare it to riverdance which i watched in 1999. it was so much better!! the controversy of whether the taps, which is essentially what the show is about, is recorded, becomes quite disappointing because it certainly sounded fake. plus the tin whistle and fiddles. all pre-recorded. whereas you compare to riverdance, the taps are definitely genuine and the music is all live. but it was still good music from ronan hardiman, good dancing from the leads and the troupe. no credit goes to michael flatley as chreographer because he copied the entire idea wholesale from riverdance. he really has no integrity and creativity. in my opinion. even some of the names of each scene are almost the same. and it has a really weak plot of good Vs evil. i think even Dancing on Dangerous Grounds is much better than LOTD.

afterwhich sam and i hung out with grace over thai express dinner and cheesecake dessert. was good chill out session. then sent grace home and sam and i hung around before going home..'cos had to get up early the next morning.

teaching sexual reproduction in plants... trying to get students a greater sense of urgency about their upcoming june common tests and prelims. not to mention the SPA(stic) tests. so much talk about SPA going on in the staff room. it sounds really horrible and a complete waste of time. and to think i mentioned this to my interviewers during my MOE scholarship interview.

during today's lecture, tr, chen kee was talking about sexual reproduction in humans. more importantly issues concerning sexual repro. like IVF and contraception. which got everyone so excited, especially with her lame jokes. haha~ the funniest parts was probably the one on coitus interruptus, a form of contraception where the penis is withdrawn just before ejaculation so that there is no sperm penetration. which has a very low success rate as it is highly unreliable due to the tremendous willpower needed. and she stops there and didn't elaborate, much to the amusement and excitement of the 18-yr-olds. and of cos us the bio tutors. and she rambled also on PMS, P standing for permanent instead of pre-.

things got serious when she started to get into her serious tone talking about abortion. she showed very revolting pictures on it and it kept everyone very quiet, other than the very audible 'oh my god's and very loud gasps as the images flashed across the screen. it will only hit you as hard when you really see it for yourself. no use just reading the words off the page. pictures do make a much greater impact.

and you know what i didn't know before and it really shocked me? that in singapore, abortion is the ONLY medical procedure that does NOT require parental consent if you're below 21. so meaning, if you're below 21, you need your parent's consent to have your wisdom tooth pulled out, but you don't need your parent's consent for an abortion.

how screwed up is that? still think our society is conservative? think again.

the only thing is that if you're below 16 and you go for an abortion, the doctor has the responsibility to report it to the police because the guy who got the girl pregnant has to be arrested for statutory rape. but if you're 17-20....

this is ridiculous. i'm appalled...no wonder we have so many abortions. according to tr. chen kee's stats, 14,000 abortions performed in a year, with 10% of women being less than 20 years old. that's 1400 girls! in a year! and coupled with the straits times report on saturday.....this is getting from bad to worse. and mind you the numbers are rising rapidly.

today's papers just carried an article about british girls, as young as 10, are being prescribed contraceptive pills. 10! when i was 10 i was playing with dolls, not men.

anyway back to abortion. UK laws state that abortions can only be performed if the foetus is less than 24 weeks old. 24 weeks is 6 months! biologically speaking, major organs, nervous system, even the limbs and facial features would have formed by the age of 20 weeks! so what's the entire argument on pro-choice? this foetus at 24 weeks old is capable of detecting and exhibiting physiological and psychological phenomenen (whats the plural?), as i have learnt from my psychology lectures. even at a mere age of (if i didn't remember wrongly) 5 weeks! it's capable of detecting stimuli within the mother's womb and process that stimulus to elicit a response, such as an increase in heartbeat rate.

abortion techniques. i don't remember the fancy names but i do remember so vividly the procedures and the pictures. one is through the use of a vacuum pump. just stretch the cervix, insert your vacuum cleaner, and suck out all the contents of the uterus (womb). another is to use a spoon-like device, insert it in, and scrape the walls of the womb to dislodge the foetus, then use a pump to suck it out.

now that i'm typing it out, it makes me feel so sick.

the last method is to use saline to kill the foetus, and to inject a hormone called prostaglandins to stimulate the walls of the womb to contract, thus squeezing the dead foetus out of the woman's womb.

what you get in the end. tubs (think big ice cream tubs) and tubs of dead foetus (each could have been a human being), all dismantled. the limbs, head and bodies are all torn apart and mixed together with the thick amniontic fluid, blood and tissues.

here's where the 18-yr-olds begin to be shocked at what they're seeing.

and i was sitting next to ms. joyce teo, who is pregnant with a girl. i wonder if the images had any effect on her. but if i were her, ohman....i cannot imagine how i'd feel. but tr. chen kee did give all of us a warning before showing us those gross pictures.

to look at the other side, to me abortion is only valid when the preganancy is a threat to the mother. like having this baby may cause her to lose her life, or go insane.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations."
Jeremiah 1:5

God knew us even before we were formed. when we were in the womb, even just a tumble of cells aka blastula, He knew us and He already had a plan for this child of His.

sigh. at the end of it all, tr. chen kee left them with 2 ways to prevent this horrid event from taking place.

1. safe sex
2. abstinence

which one would it be is up to each individual. everyone adopts a different lifestyle. but i'm definitely choosing option 2. the major reason being God views sex between a man and a woman as a sacred act. it is only right when it's between a husband and his wife. also, now i'm in NO way capable of raising a child. being a parent is a huge responsibility and should not be viewed lightly, and to me, you need to be one responsible and mature person, and together with your spouse, to raise a child. abortion is definitely not the way to go. and i really hope singapore can amend its laws regarding parental consent for teens under 21. as well as the deadline for abortion to be legal. just not 24 weeks.

and of course, (hate to use this phrase but i can't think of a better one), to "save myself" and to really enjoy it when i'm married to the love of my life.

just realised this is the longest post i've ever typed. ok shall stop. need sleep. i need to adjust my biological clock. it's getting quite whacked by the weird sleeping hours and having to wake up at 6.45am.

toodles.

This girl posted at 9:24 PM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

it's time for a BIGGG celebration!!

'cos both TJ and NJ band got gold with honours!! yes and sajc band..but whatever... only 3 bands had gold with honours...and both tj and nj!! ohman.... so happy...for everyone!

tj's chinese orchestra and band also got gold..but without honours. they were quite disappointed. according to staff room gossip channels. and the only 2 grps with gold with honours is guitar ensemble and dance.

yay....

plus scott savol is OUT of american idol!! finally...

this whole week has been spent in tj..then with sam...haha~ not that i'm complaining... plus of course shopping with him! i bought another mango top...

all these going out has made me tired...now i feel like i spend so much of my days awake and i feel accomplished! but i'd love to sleep for a few more hours....=)

i need sleep...

teaching has been ok. i've got some really nice classes..lively and all..so i just crap and laugh along with them. but others are so quiet...sigh. tr. chen kee was her usual self during sexual reproduction in humans lecture today...she got everyone in the LT to say hi to me...she made silly jokes about the foetus and pregnancy and star wars... haha~ as usual....tj bio students...you'll be happy to know she's still the same..but now she has new shirts! haha~

ok...i'm so sleepy...and its only 10 plus....

This girl posted at 10:08 PM

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

feeling good... like the michael buble song. :)

started relief teaching at tj. have always liked it. it's nice to be back. and denise is back too! is the reunion of half of ms. ng's elves! haha~ taking over mrs. lam and ms. teo's classes. schedule's quite packed. chatted with many teachers today and caught up with happenings. me and denise were feeling nostalgic. ah tj..place of many memories. we also went back for the council campfire. was good meeting up with some of the councillors and my entire exco, other than rohan who's at prague now...doing dentistry. caught the 28th SC in action with the 29th. and bit of the temasek academy students' council...the sec 3s!! haha i think they generally mean no harm lah...maybe just a lil' immature. but according to tr. chen kee, they're really enthusiatic when it comes to answering questions. so unlike us.

also went back to church after my exams concluded its trauma. it was real good fellowshipping with church friends over ice cream and bread after ypg. =) and talking to pastor mitch and various people. went for choir..we sound quite nice acapella! can't wait for ypg retreat at sentosa in june.

speaking of sentosa...just went yesterday with hall 7-block 36-ers. sam, wayne, lijie, ronald, huimin, jason, xinpei, jocelyn and me. was fun! played the usual beach volleyball and frisbee. didn't get burn..didn't even out my tan also... sigh. the place was SO packed 'cos it was public holiday. argh. but it was still fun.

watched the interpreter and finding neverland with dearest. 2 good shows! made me happy. the company was an extra plus of course. plus the food! he finally helped me bake and tasted my famous (ok...jamie oliver's..) apple crumble with ice cream! as always it was good. anybody who wants to try can tell me! and find me an oven. so far this recipe has been passed around many people... haha~ spread the joy!

i don't even think i'm making sense because i'm just typing and typing and feeling happy. even though my mum came and fight with me over the tv...thus resulting in me here! and not watching my favourite CSI new york. if not for repeats i'd really have fought with her...but still..after all these direction-less typing...i feel much better... =)

heartfelt prayers go to former president dr wee kim wee's family... and may he rest in peace.

feel happy. i think i'm going mad. maybe it's the hormones.

always blame it on the hormones girls. it's our best weapon. =)

toodles.

This girl posted at 9:52 PM