a fruitful life.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Feathers on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes and makes me lighter
Feathers on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

Night night of the day
Black flowers blossom
Feathers on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Feathers on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Feathers on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Feathers on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

You're stumbling in the dark
You're stumbling in the dark

- Massive Attack's Teardrop

This girl posted at 11:02 PM

i'm almost catching up the US episodes for grey's anatomy. watching so many medical dramas and especially House and grey's, i almost feel like a pseudo-doctor. i know what drugs are used for what conditions, at least those common ones. i know what to do when someone has grand mal seizures. makes me wonder what kind of doctor i'd have been. working 100-hour weeks? ohmaannnn....

just went by sistic...and the coldplay concert is entirely sold out. heh. i battled with that horrible sistic website for one whole hour. ONE HOUR! i sat on my bed at 9am, i haven't brushed my teeth nor combed my hair, kept clicking on links with my debit card beside me and cursing at that darn website for being so slow because everyone was trying to get tickets. yes it was a competition. and yes i didn't win. so when 10am came and the sistic hotline opened i still was put ON HOLD for a good 5 minutes before a chirpy girl came on and i resisted the urge to snap at her. and yes i booked my tickets for sam sayheng and me. and it wasn't my first choice seats (because people on the net beat me to them) but it's alright. at least its not blocked. at least i have tickets although it's sssooo expensiveeee.... but it's coldplay leh.

yes and the concert happens on the first day of my MOE attachment. i don't suppose i'd stay in school till 8pm right? haha that's the good thing about schools. no one works OT like other jobs. when i was relief teaching i remember fondly i'd go shopping with louisa after work at around 3pm. we'll eat and shop and since we have an income we could buy stuff! good times.

my CCA at NTU, welfare services club aka WSC, won the Singapore Youth Award (youth and community services). it's a wonderful recognition for our club and i'm so proud of it. we are the only recipients under this category and we're going to the Istana to attend the award presentation ceremony. =)

sam's documentary on the "mat" (malay ah be*gs) culture in singapore was picked to be presented at the Singapore Youth Media conference (i think thats the name). again it's really prestigious and a great recognition for their efforts although its just a school project. so proud of him and his group. =)

church on sat was a welcome tea for newcomers. i saw my tj friend weichang! whose sister attends YAG so she came. small small world. we had a tour of the church which i learnt interesting trivia. pastor mark and mitch shared a little before we had delicious peranakan food but i was sick so i couldn't eat half of the food including the mee siam and curry. =( after that davier and i went marina square to walk and eat dinner. i resisted the urge to spend money! yay. but the start of GSS means crazy shopping crowds and no parking space.

i wanna watch many movies. how come all my friends seem to be so busy with working? blame it on holiday jobs and attachments. would july 5th come sooner...

pastor charlie is quite sick, which worries me but i know God is with him and he is with God. i admire his drive to always be so close to the Lord and his tremendous faith in Him even though his life may not be a bed of roses. adds one more person to my daily prayer list. and he is my role model for my walk with God and my relationship with Him. =)

This girl posted at 10:10 PM

Friday, May 26, 2006

i have reached 10 conclusions.

1. it's much better to have a runny nose than a cough and sore throat. at least having the former will not result in me waking up in the middle of the night coughing and coughing.

2. ample rest is necessary when you return from a trip overseas. hence you should NOT stay up late to watch tv/dvds and eat kripsy kreme and tim tams and starburst. or you'll end up having the most horrible throat infection.

3. stay away from your boyfriend if he has a sore throat that takes weeks to heal. but of course on hindsight i still wouldn't stay away from him lahhh.

4. it's a horrible feeling when you can't talk properly in complete sentences without having to stop to cough. my voice was so bad i could hardly be heard. that day about 3 calls came in on my hp and i ignored all but one of them 'cos it wouldn't be pleasant if i picked it up. the only call i didn't ignore was sam's. cos he has seen me at my worst. so now he can hear me at my worst.

5. make sure the virus/bacteria is totally gone from your system before you jump right back to late nights/junk food. sam was recovering from his major sickness already, finished his antibiotics. when his sore throat came back yesterday. take care my dear.

6. being interesting and genuine and true to yourself is better than smiling for the cameras and being bland. that's why taylor won. =) yeah it pays to have elliot fans voting for taylor instead of kat. haha. just my thinking.

7. it's rewarding to be a really good impersonator. you get to sing in front of millions of people and you can to meet the person you impersonated. kudos to michael sendecki. who isn't afraid to allow people to laugh at him singing way off-key and having the judges mock him "at least clay aiken could sing".

8. a surprise appearance after 3 years and an outrageous hair style earns you the top headlines, right up there with the winner. clay's hairstyle is really outrageous and became the talk of the reports, and along with the magnificent singing together with his pre-makeover impersonator, that makes good tv. and good publicity. and much delight to clay fans all over the world. =)

9. i can't imagine not talking. not singing. hope i get my voice back soon.

10. sam is in EBM. and everyone in CS got their 1st choice. which calls for a celebration because i would think it's quite rare for a cohort to have their interests so evenly spread out among the 4 divisions. i wonder my own specialisation-choosing would be as smooth. and i'm still undecided. among options which include virology, microbiology, immunology and genetics. hmmmmm....

This girl posted at 4:09 PM

Sunday, May 21, 2006

it's been more than 2 weeks since my exams ended. 2 weeks since i started my aussie trip.

i wished i could go back 2 weeks in time. so i get my holiday again.

so now i'm back in the real world. doing the real stuff. actually i shouldn't complain.

i have tons of new stuff from australia. new clothes, shoes, bags, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, belts, scarves, hairbands, charms, keyrings and a wholleee lot more. yes i'm a shopaholic. and it becomes worse in a good way when you've got a good shopping pal with you or you're alone.

i've had a wonderful holiday. ok i gotta stop talking about it.

i got to spend 5 wonderful days in sydney with the love of my life.

speaking of which i'm so glad my efforts on the secret project paid off.

can't complain.

oh and i got to eat krispy kreme donuts! they were absolutely delicious! i had to lug one gigantic box of 12 donuts home which i bought from the sydney domestic airport. hee sam paid for it. =) everyone of the assorted flavours i bought was good. oh can they bring krispy kreme to singapore? we don't even have dunkin' donuts how horrible is that.

been having dvd marathons, just plunking my butt on the couch and watching and watching. bought without a trace season 2 and nip/tuck season 2 dvd boxsets from HMV australia and their dvds are really cheap! so unfair. without a trace was only $50 and nip/tuck was only $40!! and many others were also on sale. House, scrubs, SATC...aahhhhh i wished i bought more. ha can always ask my friends in aussie to buy back lalala. so other than that it's reruns of SATC and grey's anatomy season 2. trying to watch episodes i missed. trying to get my hands on House season 2 episodes toooo aahhh after watching one episode in brisbane i wanna watch it so badly.

ohyeah i bought the constant gardener dvd too..for only $15 ha at woolworths in sydney. woolworths is jsut like Kmart or carrefour. i was running out of cash on my last day there so i couldn't buy so many dvds i saw which were really cheap! and also i was so afraid by some stroke of bad luck my dvd players can't play code 4, which is the code for australia. but it can! thank goodness for multi-code dvd players.

ok now i'm just rambling. i need to get out of the house. hoyin's 21st (happy birthday hoyin!) was a great catching up with sec sch friends sam shermaine noelle calvin and of course hoyin. i wanna watch TONS of movies. i need a movie buddy. and strictly just movies because great s'pore sale is round the corner and i have no more $$ to spend.

now back to real work. wsc stuff..committments...the whole nine yards.

this summer holidays look dreary. partly due to sam being away. but i think it's good time to do the "me" stuff. and spend more time with family and hugo and friends i have neglected. pack my very messy study room which is overflowing with stuff. read. read. books. Bible. exercise. and really do it and not procrastinate. anyone wanna join me at SIA club for gym/swim/badminton?

ohyeah! my dearest t4 people please do not forget our PS2/movie marathon date!!

everyone of my friends think i'll be the first one to get married.

boy is that a weird thought.

i looked around the table at hoyin's party and realised i'm the one who's in the longest relationship so far. i look around my brisbane/gold coast travelling companions and realise i'm the only one attached.

hey but that does not mean i'll be the first to get married. ok mate?

i've given a lot of thought to the idea of marriage and committment and relationships. fueled by recent turn of events and discussions with sam. ok my mind is a total pot of confused thoughts. shall babble another day.

off to do work. toodles for now.

This girl posted at 9:56 PM

Friday, May 19, 2006

i'm so sad to be back in singapore. really. never in my life i had trips that i'm so sad to leave the country i was in. most of my family trips...i'll be ok with leaving..'cos i may miss the weather in singapore (like korea..'cos it was just way too cold) or i may miss the food or just simply missed the comforts of home.

but i was sooo sad to leave australia behind. leave my times with grace davier weiqiang and most of all, leave my happy memories of sydney days with sam behind. i had the best holiday ever. and i thought it was such a happy/exciting/exhilirating/dramatic/real experience.

real because life is never a bed of roses. social interaction, even between friends, is never a smooth one. there will always be bumps and disappointments and anger and frustration. there will be happy times. but there will be unhappy ones too. i've learnt a lot on this trip, though it was a mere 11 days. i've learnt about myself, the people i travelled with, australia and its culture, travelling, sam, my relationship with him and so much more.

a short (ok not very short) account...

brisbane for 2 nights. shopping. meeting janice. having really really good dessert. flea market. really good buskers. sleeping and hanging out in our 2-storey service apartment/loft. talking till late into the night and drinking. watching big brother for the first time. i'll blog about big brother later because it's so fascinating. don't have photos of brisbane 'cos davier was our photographer so everything is up on his site.

***

byron bay for 1 night. shopping. eating good food. watching a most beautiful sun set. taking pictures and walking barefoot on the sand and getting our feet washed by the "warm" ocean water. warm because relative to our cold feet. the light house and a 1 hour trek up. australia's most easterly point. admiring the magnificent view of the ocean and the bay. having $4 beers and listening to good live music. talking on a bench next to the ocean till late into the night and shivering so much because it was freezing.

the lighthouse. with the blue-est sky i've ever seen and a beautiful stroke of cloud.

halfway through our walk up to the lighthouse. spectacular view of the bay.

the lighthouse. taken from australia's most easterly point. perched on top of a hill that overlooks the sea. reminds me of the song "lighthouse" we sang during choir in church.

the other side of the bay that stretches across the eastern coast of australia.

on the way to byron bay. beautiful farms and fields. despite the scenery i still fell asleep 'cos i was so tired. =)

australia's most easterly point.

***
surfers paradise for 3 nights. more and more shopping. grocery shopping. trying to open the 10 liter jug of mineral water. more drinking to finish the vodka. cocoa pops and fresh milk. passion fruit and custard apple. movieworld and the superman ride we never took. meeting davier's aunt's family at their beautiful home and watching rugby/futurorama and having aussie bbq. the beautiful endless surfers beaches. the seagulls that stood sleeping on the beach. the racial discriminatory remarks. that night on the beach where i discovered my friend's amazing strength. much laughter and joy.

on the greyhound into surfers paradise. this was on the left of the bus as the sun starts to slip into the horizon.

while this picture was taken on the right side of the bus. see how different the colours are? i just sat there looking left and right in awe.

the endless beaches of the eastern coast of australia. as far as my eye can see. so straight as compared to sydney (which you'll see later) and byron bay.

the beaches at surfers paradise. white soft sand, nice waters, sea salt in my hair, bright cheery skies and the glorious sun.

***
sydney for 4 nights. sam's comfy cosy apartment. his really nice flatmates. some scandals. the sydney harbour bridge. sydney opera house. watching Giselle, the ballet. walking along a crazy sydney street. sydney fish market and the fresh-est seafood i've ever had. hands down. more seagulls. the beautiful and graceful anzac bridge. bondi and bronte beach and walking on the rocks instead of the pedesterian foot paths. heaps of surfers battling the strong waves. bondi beach sunday flea markets with really nice stuff. cooking healthy meals in his apartment. having long walks and long conversations. eating really good thai food. waking up late. factory outlet stores. watching A$8.50 movie - the squid and the whale. seeing sam after 4 months. being independent and going to sydney myself. walking along sydney streets myself. being so reluctant to board my plane to brisbane from sydney and tearing myself away. being so tempted to tackle sam, drug him and smuggle him back to singapore with me.

the shell of the sydney opera house on my first night there. before the ballet. it's actually not pure white in colour but off-white/light light yellow due to all the weathering. but i like it this way 'cos pure white is just boring. a little colour gives it character.

the harbour bridge that is not lighted! you can hardly see the arch because the lights were not on. sorry that's it's blur 'cos i didn't use flash and the night mode adjusted my shutter speed such that you'll need either really really steady hands or a tripod.

central station in the city. much like our raffles place mrt station but instead of 4 lines, they have almost 30 lines running all over throughout sydney and to neighbouring cities, suburbs and states. very big, complicated and crowded.

bondi beach. before this we were at bronte beach, the one next to bondi and we walked along the cliffs and rocks to get to bondi instead of the pedesterian footpath. quite an adventure. i love the houses sitting on the cliffs. wished i had one of those.

the rock formations along the beach. reminds me of ms. sarah yew my sec sch geography teacher. i loved physical geog a lot. =)

plenty of surfers were surfing the big waves at bondi and bronte on that sunday we went. and there were other beach goers chilling out, having a picnic, playing frisbee or soccer. this surfer dude is probably looking for his friend out in the waves as the sun starts to dip below the horizon.

the sunset colours reflected off the backwash of the waves on the smooth sand. gorgeous. =)

the seafood platter for 2 at sydney fish market. really really fresh and delicious! it consisted of fries, beer battered fish pieces, calamari rings, scallops in their pretty shells, oysters, bbq grilled baby octopus, king prawns and fish sticks. all for just A$23.90. even cheaper than fish & co.

the anzac bridge. a suspension bridge. everybody raves about the harbour bridge and i think this pretty bridge should be given air-time too!

darling harbour under overcast skies. the tall tower to the right of the picture is something like the KL tower. observatory and touristy purposes.

sam and i were chilling out at darling harbour at this fountain which is really a piece of art. this little boy in yellow was running down the spiral fountain in his cute rain boots. he was real adorable and we couldn't resist taking pictures of his adventure. and this bird here is just chilling and drinking water.

darling harbour. i was quite amazed at this photo due to the bright circle in the top. makes me think of how everything else is so gloomy but yet as the heavens open light shines through and gives hope.

a church we passed by on the way to the harbour bridge. it's autumn!

the beautiful sydney opera house. enough said.

(p.s i like it more than the esplanade. who would ever like spiky things when this beautiful opera house is so graceful and gentle and smooth?)

the harbour bridge. taken from one of the light brown structures called pylon lookouts at the 2 ends of the bridge.

looks like a painting huh. =) this is taken by sam, who has a keen eye for such beautiful pictures.

harbour bridge from street level.

the sunset at milson's point. just at the shores of north sydney.

the harbour bridge as night fell. the colours, as i have mentioned so many times, are so pretty. looks at the tiny opera house in the background. =)

blur shot again. same reason. no tripod. but still beautiful on its own.

my last day. sam's university in the heart of the city. like SMU. i love the trees.

***
don't think the account does justice to my trip. but i'm glad the memories will stick with me. and i'm so thankful i got to go on this trip. must have spent a total of $2k on this trip. everything from flights to transport to food to accomodation and of course tons of shopping. but still very very thankful. and like always, i look around me and see the things around me, so beautiful and i think of how God made all of it. it's amazing really. and it's autumn. =)

all good things must come to an end.

This girl posted at 12:06 AM

Sunday, May 14, 2006

sydney is one big city.

my first night here was a saturday night and walking along the orchard rd+mohd sultan of singapore aka George's St. is CRAAZZYYYY...everyone was drunk and shouting on the top of their hoarse voices at passers-by. and those in the cars stick their heads out and scream some nonsensical thing that annoys me. and pools of puke and smoke and urine were scattered along the streets. and it was cold! which is nice.

i watched a ballet at the sydney opera house! how cool is that man. the ballet was presented by the australian ballet company, entitled Giselle. it was absolutely beautiful... =) i love the costumes the set design the music the ballet dancers the dance and everything about it. aahhhh i was so amazed and in awe. and sydney opera house was amazziinnggg and so majestic and so grand. the famous white sea shells against the grandeur of the metallic harbour bridge. pretty pretty.

lalala today we went to the beaches of south sydney. bronte beach and bondi beach. it was bbeeaauutifulll! we walked the rocky rocks and saw the sunset and walked along the bondi beach sunday flea markets. bought pretty things. =)

ok gotta bathe. laters!

This girl posted at 9:45 PM

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

australia rocks!

so far it's almost about halfway tomytrip with grace, davier and ah toh. brisbane is great! sois the absolutely beautiful byron bay. now in surfers paradise at gold coast and it's about 16 degrees. the trip is real funny and we have tons of fun just talking and drinking and laughing and sleeping. =)

aahhhh i gt to see sam in sydney is just a few days timeeee!!! lalala. and i bought lots of stuff! and we get really good food here and it's been great! hope everyone back home is doing well. carlene in taiwan and ed in silk road. and the rest back home.

okif i ignore you when you message me, sorry cos using the aussie sim card.

grace just typed a really funny poem beside me. and she's gonna post it on her blog. hahaha. we took TONS of photos and videos doing strange and stupid things.

i wanna go sydney!! movie world and more shopping up next. i'll load the pretty pictures when i get back.

having heaps of fun! seeya... =)

This girl posted at 8:18 PM

Friday, May 05, 2006

i just got the letter from MOH...and it says...

congratulations! you will be turning 21 years old. this will, no doubt, be a major milestone in your life.

and it's a letter about organ donation should i pass away.

as i read the letter many thoughts went through my head. i just recently watched an episode of grey's anatomy about harvesting this brain-dead guy's organs.

the human organ transplant act states that the kidneys, liver, heart and corneas will be donated to people in need of them. and we all know for a fact that the list of people who need organs is long long long. 2 kidneys can go to 2 people with acute kidney failure caused by a whole lot of diseases and medical conditions. the liver, largest internal organ in the human body, can save lives of many, including actresses taking slimming pills and alcoholics. but they are still lives saved. a mother, a wife, a father, however mistakes they made that landed them in this state. the corneas restore sight and we always say the eyes are the windows to our soul. the heart. need i say more?

when we die, our bodies are useless. our hearts stop beating. our brain goes dead and the neurons stop firing. our blood stops flowing through our arteries and veins. our muscles stop working. our lungs no longer gets filled with air. the light in our eyes goes off. but this is when we get called home to be with God in Heaven. the blessing of eternal life. so what we have on earth does not matter anymore. and with this reasoning i'm not opting out. and consider that my final contribution to singapore and her people.

and turning 21 and my first decision as a legal adult. responsibilities come flying in in all directions. and it's time to grow up. time to make decisions. time to think for others. time to stop behaving like a child. time to pack my own bags and time to wash my own dishes. time to manage my CPF account and think about my finances. time to think about the future.

time to stop whining about becoming an adult. because that's just childish.

time to be responsible.

"maturity does not come with age. it comes with an acceptance of responsibility."

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
- 1 corinthians 13:11

yup how true that is.

p.s i went shopping yesterday and saw so many so many pretty clothes but i have no money to buy. =( the latest collection at forever21 super nice lah. so tempted to buy this pretty dress. $70. but i didn't. and i know it'll be gone when i come back. so sad right.

time to go bowling with long-lost friends from hall 7. and do my secret project. and i'm flying tomorrow! ohmygoodness i have no time...

This girl posted at 1:18 PM

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

to the Lord my God.

for sticking by me in times of most desperation and agony.
for always being there, just a prayer away.
for Your unfailing strength.
for Your continuous encouragements.

and most of all, Your unconditional love.

come to think of it, there's really nothing in this world that could evoke such emotions in me. nothing in this world that could always be there. as i ponder over unconditional love. this high lofty concept. i wonder if anyone can provide me with that. continuous, unfailing, unconditional love. really.

so i'm quite okay with the concept that if ever i find out my parents don't love me unconditionally (which i hope and pray that it's not true.). and okay if i should never find the ONE who would love me in that way. and okay if sam has to leave for 6 whole months and not come back on the first chance he gets 'cos he wants to work on more films and not call me everyday or bombard me with emails or ask how i'm doing. (haha now i'm just ranting.)

and i can say with utmost confidence. really. it's starting to feel that it doesn't matter anymore. because i know God loves me. and He's always there. no matter what happens. all things of this world may pass away but He is always there.

who needs men?

must be post-exams withdrawal symptoms. to think way too much into something 'cos that's what i've been doing for the past 1.5 months. the last paper was probably one of the worst. somehow i have a naggy feeling that i didn't give my best. which continuously tugs at me. which i want to resolve it. well just a little prayer made it go away. and i'm a happier girl having lunch at pizza hut with a huuggeee group of bioscience people and the names are carlene, champ, renchun, edward, samuel, angeline, christine, shaheen, gerald, fidelia, and i cannot remember...sorry!

then later catching up with hall friends and doing my secret project and going to toys r us and candy empire with edward and sam (not the one in sydney) and laughing and re-living our childhood with barbie and polly pockets which have since evolved from our time. oh yes and boy toys like super soakers and little green men like the ones from toy story and singing stupid childhood songs and hugging barney and spongebob and cute bears and playing with toys that says "for 18M+" and haha considering the amount of fun we had with it, it was more like for 18 years and above instead of 18 months. M18 what... haha it was so funny.

ed went off to meet someone. and i had dinner with sam. which on hindsight was strange 'cos it's like hur. dinner with a guy who has my bf's name. but dinner with him was nice and i laughed a lot 'cos sam is just a funny guy. i got to know him a lot more which i'm glad for. and we went for venezia gelato and walked around and saw fiona rc's gf! then sam went home to sleep while i mustered the little strength i have left to check out topshop ms. selfridge mango and zara. heh. and i bought a nice black polo with studs. retail therapy is a must. then when i got so tired walking around and trying clothes and walking back to cityhall thru' citylink..took the train home. thankful for a seat!!! and back to eastpoint buying necessities and back home...haha more tv more tv. catching up on missed episodes of grey's anatomy on sis's newly-bought dvds. and now embarking on my secret project which i really hope i can get done and finished by the time i leave for australia.

now. australia. that's another thing to be really happy about.

ok. i've ranted a lot about australia here. shall not be a bore with my semi-eventful day.

well well the general elections are really in full swing and i'm quite surprised at myself being quite interested with the happenings and that my GRC is being contested by this young WP team against veterans PAP jayakumar and gang. ok i'm scared to blog about it cos i never register so the gahmen may come and find me so i shall stop. but i really must say, the jam from safra tampines to the stretch outside my house during the WP rally/hustings was really too much. i was stuck there for 20 mintues!! when i should be studying for 210! blame my over-enthusiastic mum and aunt.

i can't believe some of my school friends are at zouk now partying! i feel like i'm gonna just fall asleep at my computer but i must work on my secret project.

laters.

This girl posted at 11:59 PM